The Only Makeup Tricks I Need

When it comes to makeup, I haven't the slightest idea what I'm doing.  I basically close my eyes and pray to God that when I'm done swiping colors all over my lid I won't look like Bozo the Clown.  Sometimes He hears my prayers, but sometimes...not so much.

As this will never, ever be a makeup/beauty blog because it's beyond my ability to grasp.  I figured I'd share the only two tricks I have in my bag.  No gimmicks, you don't have to be trained in the art of color or be born with the girl gene.  These are both awesomely easy and foolproof.  Clearly.  Because I use them.

Trick #1

The first is in regards to curling my eyelashes.  I haven't the slightest idea where I picked this one up (I'm going to guess Pinterest).

I think I've been curling my eyelashes since high school, but I've always been frustrated with the way my lashes fell throughout the day.  So, I decided to heat up that eyelash curler and turn into a curling iron.  I just run it under the blow dryer for a few seconds and test the heat against my chin.  I've found this part to be essential because if you don't test it first, you will 100% burn your eyelid.  Been there, done that, cried about it.  What I love about this is that I actually sometimes just curl my eyelashes and go for the day.  It gives my eyes a bit of a pick me up without all of the eyeliner and mascara.

The first day I tried this one out I had a meeting with my student workers.  In the middle of it, one blurted out, "Your makeup looks gorgeous today."  I told her I wasn't wearing any, and she said it looked better than what I usually wear.  So really, she just confirmed that I don't know what I'm doing.

Trick #2

This one is all about the lipstick and I'm 99.9% sure this is a Pinterest win.  To be completely honest, I still don't know how to wear lipstick.  I know I'm doing it wrong, but by using this one, at least it's not smudging all over the place.

First, I line my outer lips with concealer.  And then I put my lipstick on (wrong, obviously).  That's it.  Lining my lips with concealer keeps the lipstick from coloring outside the lines and keeps my Bozo the Clown look in check.  I don't understand the science behind it, but it works.
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And there you have it, my friends.  The only makeup tricks I have and will probably ever have because I'm not a makeup sorcerer like the rest of those girls on Pinterest/YouTube/etc.

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